Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
