Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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