ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
