Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize