im drinking this country out of the recession.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
