tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
