Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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