Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
