By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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