In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Duck Duck Cougar?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
