All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
