hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
