The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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