i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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