hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
