i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
