I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize