I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
