No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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