i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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