Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
