There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
