so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
from now on my penis is your penis
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
