I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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