And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
