k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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