i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
