forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
