i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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