Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
