he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
