it's like iHOP with fire
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
