capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
