I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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