just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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