I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
wanna go halves on a baby?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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