The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
