Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
