how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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