Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
