Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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