I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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