Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
