There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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