Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
