I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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