need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
