So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
