Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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