so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How's work?
Spinning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
