I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
