sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize