I must be too annoying 4 u.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
