Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
