As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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