We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
