Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
