The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
