My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
