why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
