Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
