Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
