A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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