oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
