Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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