This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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