there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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