ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
