I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
