I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
