he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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