He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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