I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
