He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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