Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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