the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want to fling myself into the sun
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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