He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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