I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize