Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
