omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
